About me
For most of my life, I lived disconnected from my body.
Emotions were inconvenient, something to be ignored.
On the outside, everything looked perfect. I had a loving partner, a career in fashion, and a vibrant life in Amsterdam.
But inside, I felt empty.
Unseen. Unloved.
And I couldn’t understand why…
That emptiness was more than sadness it was loneliness.
A sense of being separate from love, from others, from life itself.
And I carried that feeling everywhere I went.
When I ended my long-term relationship, I threw myself into freedom.
Parties, work, one-night stands,
anything to feel alive…
And in many ways, I did.
That phase taught me about aliveness, playfulness, and breaking out of the ordinary.
I discovered my difference, my uniqueness, and the joy of expression.
I learned not to take life too seriously and found safety in exploring my sexuality.
A sense of spaciousness I had never known before.
But over time, even that freedom began to feel limited.
Because beneath all the experience and excitement, my heart was still longing for something more.
The connections were real in moments, but not rooted in love.
And I was still lonely…
That longing became the start of my awakening…
I began facing the patterns, traumas, and fears that had shaped my relationships.
I realized I had never truly learned how to relate… to myself or to others.
When the world stood still during the pandemic, I was forced to meet myself in the silence.
No parties. No distractions. No external validation.
Just me… and the ache inside.
For the first time, I stopped running.
I turned inward.
And slowly, I started to listen to my body.
That inner listening led me to make one of the biggest decisions of my life…
to leave my career in fashion and follow a new path.
I began studying sex, love, and relationship coaching at the VITA™ Institute with Layla Martin,
which opened the door to years of deeper learning through Tantric trainings, somatic and shadow work, circle work, embodiment retreats, and psychedelic journeys.
In the years that followed, I’ve worked with dozens of clients, facilitated temple nights, workshops, and retreats,
and held space at Tantra festivals and intimacy events across the world.
My coaching work has naturally evolved toward men and couples, guiding them to reconnect to their body, heart, and truth.
Through this journey, my personal search for love expanded into something much bigger:
An ongoing exploration of what it means to be human.
What it means to connect, to feel, and to be fully alive.
At the core of my vision is a simple truth:
we are being called to return.
To nature, to the body, and to real connection.
To remember that we are not separate from life, but part of it.
This remembrance is the antidote to the loneliness and disconnection so many of us carry.
I continue to walk this path myself, meeting my own edges, deepening my capacity to hold space, and learning from every step.
I don’t claim to know everything.
I’m human, just like the people I work with.
And that’s where the real transformation happens, when we meet each other in truth, heart to heart, human to human.
If my story resonates with you, know that you’re not alone.
There is a way back to your body, to love, to connection.
I’d be honored to walk with you on your own journey home.
Feeling Curious?
If something in you feels curious, tender, or alive - follow that.
You don’t have to know what it means yet.
You’re welcome to reach out here, or email me at info@denisekooij.com.
Whether it’s a question, a feeling, or simply wanting to connect,
your message is welcome here.